It has really been a while! The good news is..i’m back!!! So here’s a new piece for my faithful readers. Its actually my short story entry for a competition. For those who missed reading it, do enjoy the musings of The Amazon. And remember my amazing quill loves you *winks*
I am different.
Not a different “being” precisely but a different expression of what the conventional African female should be. Growing up, everyone always seemed to talk about how different I was from my peers, like how I often asserted my views (“which to most, was unbecoming), or how my life would be miserable if after all my years in the academia with scrolls of certificates to my credit, I still do not bring home a man to call “husband”. Yet I stubbornly refused to conform.
I attended the best schools, graduated with the finest results, followed my innermost desires, explored my greatest talents, never allowed society dictate and quite frankly… Never got a man!
It was then I realized I had everything that kept my dream man away, so conform I did.
Without much ado I found a great guy and intentionally became submissive to make him secure. It never seemed enough though, for the more I gave the more he wanted, the more I sacrificed, the more he requested. There was no physical violence, just verbal but it was enough to weaken my essence.
So I called up Aunt Feyisayo and she ominously warned “…Oko won lo de o” which is Yoruba for “Husbands are hard to come by”
Her words proved that I had to fight for this relationship.
As each day passed, my confidence waned, flickered and eventually burnt out. Gone was the Amazon who trudged through life with determination and hope. She was no more the free spirited gazelle who had the world at her feet. Hers was a world that revolved around one man and ‘twas his to manipulate. I had to get married!
Years rolled by, but he never popped the question. I mentally attacked ME. I wished I could trade my beauty and coveted wit for some quality “homemade attitude” sold only in the departmental stores in my head.
Finally, after years of being with “Mr. Bae”, he said the words that released me from my self-inflicted sentence… “I fell in love with the woman you once were…I’m sorry”.